djcity
I just was talking to a friend about weddings and remembered this... i HAD to re-post this one. Enjoy.
O.k.
I got to the show about 1 1/2 hours before showtime. I set up all the equipment, Did my soundcheck and all was perfect except, I had no sound thru ch1 on the amp. I had a signal going thru the soundcard, the mixer, the driverack, and the sonic maximizer. I'm like WTF?*? I check all my cables and all of them work. I switch speaker cables around and I get sound out the other channel. I'm like, O.K. so I have a bad speaker cable but...BOTH WORK ON EITHER CHANNEL just won't work together thru both channels. WEIRD...
I say phuck it and use one ch. hook both speaker cables to ch1 and just run a 4ohm load. No problem. I figure i'll sort it all out later, just let me get through the night.
I'm doing the wedding AND the reception for this young couple. Got my deposit about 3 months ago and the other half is due now. People are beginning to show up for the wedding and it's supposed to be about 300 people. I'm like, O.k...where is my money. Folks are looking at me like, aren't you gonna play some music for the arrival of the guests? I'm like, Sure, as soon as I get paid. So the Reverend shows up and I have about 60 people in the room already. He says, You should play some music for the people who are here and the people who are still arriving. Now I have already spoken to the wedding coordinator and told her I will start playing as soon as I get paid. She said she herself is still waiting for her balance but not to worry, it's coming. I asked the reverend if he got paid yet and he said Oh... you have not been paid yet? I said nope, not yet. He had a nervous look on his face and said he had not been paid all his money yet either. At this point it's looking kinda bad. I have about 175 people in the seats now and i'm not playing ANYTHING.
Finally, the hostess comes to me and hands me an envelope. I open, count, and frown. The envelope is short by $300. The hostess says Oh sorry and goes in her purse and hands me the other $300 in $100 bills.
I start playing and now the Reverend is looking at me like...You got paid before me? I'm like ...yeah. Anyway, the wedding went off with no issues at all. It was a very fast wedding. Lasted about 15 minutes.
Now to the reception...
I moved me equipment to the next hall where the reception is being held. Again, No issues at all. I'm set up in 5 min flat. The guests are eating and drinking and drinking and drinking. After the reception events (Toast, garter toss & such) are complete, It's time to PARTY. The couple wanted it to be a REAL party and that's just what it was...UNTIL...
I guess drinking really gets folks to be honest because the best man felt he had to get something off his chest. He asked me if I could turn the music off for a minute so he could make an announcement. I had a packed dance floor so I said "NO" you need to ask the bride and groom and if it's cool with them then it's cool with me. He goes to the Groom and I notice the Bride looking REAL nervous. The groom says cool, Let him make his speech.
I turn off the music and dude takes the mic. WOW. He told the wedding goers that he had to come clean. He had sex with the bride the night before and earlier that day. YES the day of the wedding the best man and the bride had sex. Not just sex but freaky oral anal freaky sex. Guess he felt the need to be descriptive.
The whole place went dead silent except for the bride who was crying and saying how sorry she was. It was pathetic.
The Groom rushes the best man and hits him with a punch so hard that I heard the guys jaw break. The best man did not go down though, he fought back and the bride is just sitting on the floor crying. As you can imagine, This is all happening just a few feet away from me AND MY EQUIPMENT. The Best man pushed the groom towards me and to save me equipment, I pushed him back towards the best man who landed a right hook that knocked the groom out. The problem was that he fell on the speaker stand that then fell on the bride who was sitting on the floor crying about how sorry she was.
So I have 1 speaker on a stand, a bride who got hit with a Yamaha s115v speaker, a Groom laid out on the floor, stunned guests, and a panic from the staff that own the hall.
THIS IS THE WORST EVENT I HAVE EVER DONE.
What A Night
O.k.
I got to the show about 1 1/2 hours before showtime. I set up all the equipment, Did my soundcheck and all was perfect except, I had no sound thru ch1 on the amp. I had a signal going thru the soundcard, the mixer, the driverack, and the sonic maximizer. I'm like WTF?*? I check all my cables and all of them work. I switch speaker cables around and I get sound out the other channel. I'm like, O.K. so I have a bad speaker cable but...BOTH WORK ON EITHER CHANNEL just won't work together thru both channels. WEIRD...
I say phuck it and use one ch. hook both speaker cables to ch1 and just run a 4ohm load. No problem. I figure i'll sort it all out later, just let me get through the night.
I'm doing the wedding AND the reception for this young couple. Got my deposit about 3 months ago and the other half is due now. People are beginning to show up for the wedding and it's supposed to be about 300 people. I'm like, O.k...where is my money. Folks are looking at me like, aren't you gonna play some music for the arrival of the guests? I'm like, Sure, as soon as I get paid. So the Reverend shows up and I have about 60 people in the room already. He says, You should play some music for the people who are here and the people who are still arriving. Now I have already spoken to the wedding coordinator and told her I will start playing as soon as I get paid. She said she herself is still waiting for her balance but not to worry, it's coming. I asked the reverend if he got paid yet and he said Oh... you have not been paid yet? I said nope, not yet. He had a nervous look on his face and said he had not been paid all his money yet either. At this point it's looking kinda bad. I have about 175 people in the seats now and i'm not playing ANYTHING.
Finally, the hostess comes to me and hands me an envelope. I open, count, and frown. The envelope is short by $300. The hostess says Oh sorry and goes in her purse and hands me the other $300 in $100 bills.
I start playing and now the Reverend is looking at me like...You got paid before me? I'm like ...yeah. Anyway, the wedding went off with no issues at all. It was a very fast wedding. Lasted about 15 minutes.
Now to the reception...
I moved me equipment to the next hall where the reception is being held. Again, No issues at all. I'm set up in 5 min flat. The guests are eating and drinking and drinking and drinking. After the reception events (Toast, garter toss & such) are complete, It's time to PARTY. The couple wanted it to be a REAL party and that's just what it was...UNTIL...
I guess drinking really gets folks to be honest because the best man felt he had to get something off his chest. He asked me if I could turn the music off for a minute so he could make an announcement. I had a packed dance floor so I said "NO" you need to ask the bride and groom and if it's cool with them then it's cool with me. He goes to the Groom and I notice the Bride looking REAL nervous. The groom says cool, Let him make his speech.
I turn off the music and dude takes the mic. WOW. He told the wedding goers that he had to come clean. He had sex with the bride the night before and earlier that day. YES the day of the wedding the best man and the bride had sex. Not just sex but freaky oral anal freaky sex. Guess he felt the need to be descriptive.
The whole place went dead silent except for the bride who was crying and saying how sorry she was. It was pathetic.
The Groom rushes the best man and hits him with a punch so hard that I heard the guys jaw break. The best man did not go down though, he fought back and the bride is just sitting on the floor crying. As you can imagine, This is all happening just a few feet away from me AND MY EQUIPMENT. The Best man pushed the groom towards me and to save me equipment, I pushed him back towards the best man who landed a right hook that knocked the groom out. The problem was that he fell on the speaker stand that then fell on the bride who was sitting on the floor crying about how sorry she was.
So I have 1 speaker on a stand, a bride who got hit with a Yamaha s115v speaker, a Groom laid out on the floor, stunned guests, and a panic from the staff that own the hall.
THIS IS THE WORST EVENT I HAVE EVER DONE.
What A Night
Inviato Tue 15 Nov 11 @ 6:22 pm
djcity
I have insurance but the brides father paid me an extra $500 for the speaker. I love Yamaha. Can you believe It still works? The bride was phucked up though. The speaker hit her hard. I guess being drunk is good for something.
It was all over when the family stepped in and tackled the best man. The brides father got everyone under control. Dad was a real cool dude. He said he was sorry for the damage but he should have expected some shit like this to happen. Said "I love my daughter to death but she is who she is. I'm still surprised the dumb Mutha Phucka really was willing to marry her anyway."
I'm like OH SHIT!!! I can't believe dad said that about his lil girl. I guess he knows what she is capable of and was happy somebody would take her off his hands.
I'm not worried about a law suit. these (as you can imagine) are not the kind of people to try to sue. Besides, ITS NOT MY FAULT SHE GOT HIT BY THE SPEAKER.
It was all over when the family stepped in and tackled the best man. The brides father got everyone under control. Dad was a real cool dude. He said he was sorry for the damage but he should have expected some shit like this to happen. Said "I love my daughter to death but she is who she is. I'm still surprised the dumb Mutha Phucka really was willing to marry her anyway."
I'm like OH SHIT!!! I can't believe dad said that about his lil girl. I guess he knows what she is capable of and was happy somebody would take her off his hands.
I'm not worried about a law suit. these (as you can imagine) are not the kind of people to try to sue. Besides, ITS NOT MY FAULT SHE GOT HIT BY THE SPEAKER.
Inviato Tue 15 Nov 11 @ 6:50 pm
island sjoa
I could just picture it happening as I read the post that is some funny a$$ $hit I guess that's what happens when you screw the best man the day of your wedding. She just put voodoo on herself!!!! The question was the bride even hot?
Inviato Wed 16 Nov 11 @ 12:01 pm
Charlie Wilson
is this true? or are you story telling, if so I like the detail your going to with speaker models n such.
Inviato Wed 16 Nov 11 @ 1:34 pm
djcity
True story. This actually happened. I wish I could make one up this good. I would be a writer instead of a DJ.
Inviato Wed 16 Nov 11 @ 1:50 pm
Charlie Wilson
Was this one you did?
Inviato Wed 16 Nov 11 @ 2:12 pm
CrAsh4kid
LMFAO!! i know it must have been a trip worrying about ur equipment getting messed up but DA*M that must have been HILARIOUS like sumthin off jerry springer!!! haha
Inviato Wed 16 Nov 11 @ 2:50 pm
djcity
Yeah Charlie, this was my show. Funniest show I have EVER done. It was not funny at the time though but in retrospect, HALIRIOUS!!!
Inviato Thu 17 Nov 11 @ 7:00 am
Charlie Wilson
One of those where your embarrassed for them and hide behind the decks!
Inviato Thu 17 Nov 11 @ 11:22 am
Djmadman73
I had something similar but it was the brides family beating up the Maid of honor!! it was funny as hell!!! Hair flying Boobs showing and shoes throwing!!! thank goodness nothing was broken....in the end I got paid in a check!! I went that monday and cashed it and lucky for me it went through!! I knew the brides sister.....She told me that the camera guy and the food ctaterer check bounced!! LOL but funy story...thanks for the repost!! and yes you cannont make something like this up!!!
Inviato Thu 17 Nov 11 @ 4:08 pm